10 Things I wish I knew as a Parent: Crying

Every parent knows the sound of a baby's cry. It can startle you awake in the middle of the night or make you feel helpless in the middle of the day. But why do babies cry? And why does it affect us so deeply? In this blog, we’ll explore the reasons behind a baby’s cry, how it impacts us as parents, and offer strategies to support you through these challenging moments.

Why Do Babies Cry?

Crying is a baby’s primary way of communicating. Since they can’t talk yet, they use crying to tell us what they need. Here are some common reasons why babies cry:

1.      Hunger: One of the most common reasons. Babies need to eat frequently, and crying is their way of saying, “I’m hungry!”

2.      Nappy Needs: A wet or dirty nappy can be uncomfortable, and babies cry to let us know they need a change.

3.      Tiredness: When babies are tired but can’t fall asleep, they often cry. It’s their way of expressing, “I need help to sleep.”

4.      Need for Comfort: Babies need to feel safe and loved. Sometimes they cry simply because they want to be held or comforted.

5.      Overstimulation: The world is new and exciting for a baby, but too much noise, light, or activity can overwhelm them, leading to crying.

6.      Discomfort or Pain: Anything from a tummy ache to a scratchy tag on their clothing can make a baby cry.

Why Does a Baby’s Cry Affect Us So Much?

Hearing a baby cry can be incredibly distressing for parents, and there’s a good reason for this. Studies show that a baby’s cry is designed to capture our attention and trigger an emotional response. When we hear our baby cry, our brains release stress hormones, like cortisol, which can make us feel anxious, upset, or even desperate to make the crying stop. This response is completely natural and is part of our instinct to protect and care for our baby.

But sometimes, these strong emotions can make it hard to think clearly or stay calm, especially when the crying is prolonged or when we’re already tired.

Strategies to Support Yourself When Your Baby Cries

1.      Take Deep Breaths: If you feel overwhelmed, take a few slow, deep breaths to help calm your mind and body. This can help you approach the situation with a clearer head.

2.      Remember It’s Not Your Fault: Babies cry, and it’s not a reflection of your parenting. Remind yourself that crying is normal and that you’re doing your best.

3.      Check the Basics: Go through a mental checklist: Is the baby hungry, tired, or in need of a nappy change? Addressing these basic needs often helps.

4.      Create a Soothing Environment: Soft music, gentle rocking, or a quiet room can sometimes help soothe a crying baby. Experiment with different calming techniques to see what works best for your little one.

5.      Ask for Help: It’s okay to ask for support from your partner, family, or friends. Sometimes just having someone else hold the baby for a few minutes can give you the break you need.

6.      Take a Break if Needed: If the crying is overwhelming, it’s okay to put the baby down in a safe place, like their crib, and step away for a few minutes to collect yourself.

7.      Stay Connected: Talk to other parents, join a support group, or connect with a counsellor if you’re finding the crying particularly challenging. You’re not alone, and talking about your feelings can be incredibly helpful.

8.      Practice Self-Compassion: Parenting is hard, and it’s important to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel frustrated or tired, and that you’re doing an amazing job.

Conclusion

Understanding why babies cry and why it affects us so deeply can help us approach these moments with more empathy and patience. Remember that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and it’s important to take care of yourself so you can be the best parent you can be. With the right strategies and support, you can navigate the challenges of a crying baby with more confidence and calm.